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Talk:SorryNotSorry/@comment-3575890-20160824023607
The only thing that upsets me more than the Joshaya ship and its concept, is the message it entails. A fifteen year-old girl waiting years to be in a relationship with a guy much older, experienced, and mature than her is actually being endorsed by these writers as socially acceptable. It’s honestly the most disappointed I have ever felt with these writers whom up until now I honestly held their storytelling choices in the highest esteem. Even when their decisions didn’t suit me, I never doubted that they knew what they were doing - until now. It’s truly disheartening that anyone even needs to point out that a fifteen year old child’s first relationship should not involve an older male she has to wait years to be with. Yes, sure, according to the rules of the “long game” Maya can still go on dates with other guys in the meanwhile, but it won’t matter. They will always hold that connotation of “temporary.” For as long as she holds onto hope that she and Josh will be together someday, she will be emotionally unavailable to every guy she dates until then. The “long game” will always be an awkward elephant in the room that will stunt Maya from ever being able to have a healthy relationship with anyone else during one of the most important stages of her life for growth. She will never give any other relationship a fair shake because she’ll still on some subconscious level be hung up on Josh and her dream of what they could have in the far future. And this is NOT healthy. I am appalled that the writers of this show would even imply anything BUT. On no planet is it ever okay for a fifteen year old little girl to stunt her scope of experience throughout the four most pivotal years of her life for the promise of a relationship that truthfully, may not even happen in the future. Josh may like Maya now; he may THINK he likes her enough that when the time comes that she’s old enough, he will still be readily available for her; he may THINK that she’s his Topanga that no other girls will measure up to, but Josh himself is still naive and has some growing up left to do let alone Maya. In three years’ time, she will be 18, BUT he will also be three years older - 21 to be exact - and by then he will most likely have underwent MAJOR life changes that could ultimately change the entire outcome of what the two of them have come to expect right now. It’s an emotionally debilitating feeling having to hold out for love at even an age when life is established, let alone an age when you still are trying to figure out who you even are and what you want in life. Not even a month ago, Maya Hart was grappling with an identity crisis. She still has yet to find herself let alone have any understanding of what she wants life to look like in a few months, much less three years from now. And what she’s signed up for, I don’t think she quite grasps the implications of. I would like to point out that many adults at their most developed and experience have played the ‘long game’ and failed at it. It is NOT a decision one can make lightly that underlines terms of an agreement to a waiting period of three years. And it is definitely not suitable for a fifteen year old child that is only beginning to understand herself and has never even had her first relationship yet. Then there’s Josh whom is even more likely to change his mind because honestly, who is to say that three years from now, when Maya is at the ripe age of 18, a 21-year-old Josh will still be waiting with open arms? Will be single and completely emotionally available? Will keep feeling exactly the same and wanting the same things throughout a three-year waiting period consisting of limited visits and interactions? What are the odds that Josh will hold out for three whole years for a girl he cannot even legally touch until three years from now? What are the odds that a young hormonal male entering one of the most transitional stages of his life right now, won’t meet somebody else in this three-year time frame? The both of them are at stages in their lives, albeit dramatically different, wherein they are bound to meet new people. Maya is at the age where she is likely to JUST START dating, whereas Josh is at the pivotal age that he’s statistically likely to meet his future wife. BIG DIFFERENCE. So in the end, if somebody changes their mind about the ‘long game’, take one wild guess as to who that will be and which other will get burned? It goes all the way back to Maya’s comment about how you cannot date a fantasy, which she was 100 percent correct about. Now Josh too is chasing a fantasy. He doesn’t want fifteen year old Maya. He wants a more mature, developed, experienced eighteen-year old Maya. Too bad Maya will not be that for three more years. He is more enthralled with the the potential of whom Maya will grow up to be than the girl he still views as ‘too young for him’ she is now. At this moment, he’s gone from refusing to see Maya as a romantic prospect to entertaining the idea when she’s older. He looks at Maya and thinks, “she’s so smart, beautiful, and mature for her age right now. She will be perfect when she’s 18!” And honestly, no matter how you spin that, that’s just so fucking gross. No adult should ever look at a minor like that. I do not care HOW mature Maya is for her age. If you have to wait until she is of legal age, then I have news for you, bro. She is TOO YOUNG FOR YOU. Now even if Josh is a fairly decent guy with no nefarious intent, even if he does care about Maya NOW and is convinced that RIGHT NOW, she is the one for him, if only three years from now - at the end of the day, Maya Hart deserves so much better than to be relegated to the status of shiny future prospect. She was kept on the hook for the longest time by another boy whom treated the whole situation like they were on the fucking Bachelor and that certainly did no favors to her low self-esteem; now she’s yet again put in the same position, only this time the waiting game is three fucking years. What Maya needs is somebody who wants her NOW. Not somebody who dangles over her head flowery promises set far in the future with existing conditions in the present. As Joshaya very clearly illustrates, a gap between age, maturity, experience, and status as steep as three years between a minor and an adult DOES actually matter. Not just in terms of legality, obviously, but also the power scale, friendly, romantic and sexual compatibility, intimacy, terms and conditions, and overall health of the dynamic. How the hell is it morally acceptable to transmit a message that it’s okay for a fifteen year old girl to put three years of her life, that she could better spend building meaningful relationships and gaining experience in the dating world, on hold for ANY GUY let alone an older adult man to female viewers as young, inexperienced, insecure, and impressionable as Maya Hart?